Orange. it is a color i never gave much space in my brain. it occupies a lot of space up there now. 10 weeks ago it meant caution, it meant halloween, it meant my high school mascot color.

now it means you. it means the smile i will never again see here on earth. it means softball games that i will never attend to watch you rip off that catchers mask and hustle to get under that ball while its so far up in the sky that you can barely see it. it means never sitting on the deck while you show my daughter how to hold the glove to effectively catch a ball.

Orange means realizing that your mom will never again be the same woman she was on that saturday morning. Orange means that your big brother has no little sister to protect. Orange means that your dad has regrets every single day of the time he didnt get to spend with you.

Orange. it is a color i love....and i hate.