Friday, September 30, 2011

HER BOOK!!

i have been reading Mabels House for 3 years, its a clever, honest, and pretty blog that i look forward to opening each day.
and now the woman behind the wit has published her first book. and she told me that if i post it on my blog (for my 4 readers to see) she will give ME a copy, ok...thats not EXACTLY what she said, she said i could win a copy.
i read the excerpt and it looks like exactly what i expect from Liz. so take a read.


***
Once one has breathed in the deep pungent aroma of sewage, you never again forget the nose-hair singeing, eye clawing, throat gagging experience. It comes over you slowly. You begin to feel like a character in One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest as your muscles involuntarily jerk and you run screaming and blowing raspberries. Anything to get away from the mind-numbing stench.
But let me explain.
It was 6:30 a.m. I was standing in my retro pink tiled bathroom trying to open my bleary eyes and ready myself for work. As I stood there, peering into the mirror and wondering what demented nighttime fairy had planted four new wrinkles on my face, I paused and sniffed.
“Matt… what’s that smell?”
Matt staggered from the bedroom in his underwear, eyes half shut. “I don’t smell anything.”
I pointed my nose into the air like a hunting dog. “Seriously? You can’t smell that? Did you go to the bathroom in here earlier? I told you to use the room spray when you do things like that.”
Matt puffed out his bare chest and gathered his pride as best a man can with sleep in his eyes and a small hole in the side of his underwear. “I just woke up!”
I frowned, catching a glimpse of my makeup-less hot-rollers-in-hair state and tried not to think about the fact that I looked fifty instead of twenty-nine. “Well, help me figure this out. Because something smells ripe.”
We sniffed the sink drain and ruled it out as a suspect.
“Is it coming from the toilet?” Matt asked, examining it from top to bottom.
“No, that’s not it,” I snapped. I’m not known for my milk of human kindness in a disaster. Don’t get me wrong. I’m a survivor. I plan on eating my radish like Scarlet and clawing my way out of the nuclear dust while dragging my loved ones with me. But I won’t be doing it with positive phrases and a smile.
“Hon, I just don’t know. We’ll call a plumber after work, maybe it’s coming from under the house.” Matt staggered a little, trying to get past me and out of our tiny bathroom.
“Well, that’s just great,” I moved aside and pulled the shower curtain back so I could perch on the side of the tub and give Matt room to move out the door.
That’s when the full brunt of nastiness filled the air around us, a swirling mix of excrement and acrid stench that would have brought the sewer dwelling Ninja Turtles to their knees. Where the normally slightly-clean-with-a-hint-of-soap-scum bottom of the tub should have been, there sloshed gallons and gallons of brown sewage.
I clutched the front of my sweatshirt and held my breath. Matt began to dry heave.
“Get out and shut the door!” I screamed as we bumbled into the hallway.
“I’ll deal with this,” Matt grabbed my shoulders, trying to talk and hold his breath at the same time.
I could feel my eyes glaze over, the horrors of typhoid and hepatitis in our bathtub filling my mind. But more importantly, I could envision our evaporated savings account. In my mind’s eye I could see the long, gray hallway at the bank. A worker shrouded in a black suit pulled a set of keys from his pocket and unlatched a small locker labeled “Owen Bank Account.” Inside were two small stacks of quarters and a few crumpled dollar bills. It was bleak, not only because the banker with an unimaginative wardrobe gazed at me with an expression that could only be interpreted as “You’re a Big Fat Loser,” but also there was a very definite possibility we wouldn’t be able to pay for a plumber.
I wasn’t necessarily a spend thrift. In fact, I was downright frugal when it came to decorating with thrift store furniture and rewired vintage lamps. But the fact was, we were poor. We were starting out at starter jobs with starter salaries. We were starter adults with a starter bank account.
“Okay,” I nodded numbly, thankful that Matt was taking the lead on such a disastrous biohazard. “But make sure the plumber is super cheap. We don’t have much money!”
I left for work like a wino stumbling through a fog, not really remembering my commute, not really doing any work as I sipped my coffee and stared blankly at the computer screen. A disaster of such gargantuan proportions had previously been unthinkable in my life, and now I found myself attempting to push the image of a vast sea of bathtub poop from my mind. But I was sure of one thing: Anne Shirley never had to get ready for work while breathing raw sewage.

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

a fun but tiring weekend


friday night dominic and i found ourselves unexpectedly on a scavenger hunt around the downtown. they gave us this excellent map and we set out to find. we found that the prize at each location was a different colored piece of sidewalk chalk and sometimes (like Cocoa safari) a sweet treat :)


when we were done we were directed to the madison courier parking lot which had been emptied of cars, and there used the chalk we had collected.

saturday we met up with Tricia and Megan for some fun shopping and strolling of the Chatauqua art festival.
"if he were about 20 years older, i would have a crush on him" -Megan Lee Welch

he did look very hipster in his straight leg jeans and Vans on saturday.

and Megan with her giant bag of kettle corn.

Monday, September 19, 2011

i have 5 minutes!

and i feel like i really do need to make a post

what i ate today so far: bowl of honey nut cheerios, grapes, a pear, 2 handfuls of almonds, a pay day bar, half of a Mos Southwest Grill burrito, 2 twinkies, 3 ice cubes.

what im wearing: black stretchy pants; boot cut, a greysort of v neck rouched tee shirt, dark blue hoodie, nike running shoes.

whats on the agenda: work, call mom and thank her for the box of goodies (baby clothes, and a new scarf for me) maybe visit with Lori and Kate later, pick up D from school, heat up leftover pasta and call it dinner.

what i wish were on the agenda: a trip to either, Ohio, Iowa or Kentucky.


annnndddd....TIME


Thursday, September 8, 2011

pumpkin cappuccino, 20 weeks


just thought i would share these with you. :)


his name...? right now we just call him Pumpkin Cappuccino

Monday, September 5, 2011

kid food

friday i invited my dear friend, kim, over for lunch, she works right up the street from my house so it works out well, we get to have lunch together and its really inexpensive.

really, really inexpensive in this case. i realized when i went to prepare lunch that all i had was kid food. so kid food is what we ate. these ARE my special grown up style pb and j's though.

9 grain bread, crunchy peanut butter and raspberry jam. the rest was pretty much the same as the stuff i pack in D's lunch box.

the rest of these pics are from last week, when i beat Dominic at cootie 2 out of three games.


but he doesnt look like he minded. :)

Thursday, September 1, 2011

whats so great?

i love my pinterest. i visit pinterest at least twice a day to see what my friends are pinning and to see all the other cool ideas and tutorials.

fact: pinterest will make you hungry. people pin delicious looking pastries and little sandwich rolls stuffed with goat cheese and proscuitto, they pin the perfect margarita, they pin southern peach tea.

they also pin things that are spin-offs of red velvet cake.red velvet cookies, red velvet brownies, red velvet cake pops, um...ok? so whats the big deal about red velvet? its really, in my opinion the LEAST of all cakes, seriously, the taste is ok, the texture IS good i must admit but the crumbs that inevitably fall off...they stain. personally im just as happy with a great white cake, im even happier with a lemon or carrot cake and oh yeah...dark chocolate cake with cream cheese frosting....actually anything with cream cheese frosting.

so what is so great about red velvet cake? do people love it because they think they should? is it because a long long time ago someone told them that red velvet cake is the classiest kind of cake? or do some people just really really love red velvet cake?

whats your favorite kind of cake?